Running out of fingers and toes trying to count the airplanes in line ahead of you? JetBlue you were supposed to follow just went on ahead? Can’t afford anything better because you spend all your time and money on flight sim?

Stop looking for solutions that might work, and buy The BVA Pillow, new from Boston Virtual ARTCC Home & Fashion.

You’ve tried the apps and pills. You’ve tried yelling at fellow controllers while binge drinking during Tea Party. Maybe you’ve even thought about eating well, exercising, or letting natural light touch your skin. Stop looking at overpriced, celebrity-hyped solutions and let the soothing voices of BVA’s controllers lull you to bed every night with The BVA Pillow!

Designed with comfort and functionality in mind, this new clinically-proven, pillow-based sleep system streams air traffic control audio directly to your bed—or Bluetooth device (Honk! variant only). What could put you to sleep more than…

  • Listening to Cameron control for hours without changing the tone or pitch of his voice.
  • Hearing Jamsheed say “meow” over and over again, still thinking it’s funny.
  • The terse response from Alexander when a pilot requests a full procedure approach.
  • The shrill whine of a conflict alert in the background of Austin’s transmissions.
The BVA Pillow is the only scientifically-proven sleep solution that works for nerds of all ages!

How it Works?

It’s simple: the pillow-based sleep system responds to pressure. When your head first hits the pillow, you’ll be greeted with the soothing voices of Audio for VATSIM transmissions, slowly lulling you to sleep. If you start to toss and turn, the increased pillow pressure automatically changes channels and volumes to optimize your sleep experience.

And, when it’s time to wake up, the pillow induces the AFV bug, automatically increasing the volume +2000 decibels to ensure you’re out of bed and ready for the day!

The pillow comes in three variants:

  1. The BVA Pillow, designed for light sleepers and true flight simulation nerds, features Audio for VATSIM feeds across the network.
  2. The ATC Pillow, designed for student pilots, alternates between network audio and real air traffic frequencies.
  3. The Honk! Pillow, the only Bluetooth-enabled pillow, doubles as a language aid! Want to learn Spanish? The pillow reads your mind and starts playing AFV and real-world frequencies from Mexico!


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*Free returns with a $5.99 re-stocking fee.



Shipping


Orders are processed within 3-5 business months, after receiving your order confirmation Direct Message on VATSIM. When your order has been processed and the Bitcoins transferred to our overseas account, you will receive a message from a VATSIM Supervisor advising that remaining connected to the network for 3-5 months to receive a confirmation is a violation of A9 of the VATSIM Code of Conduct.

Free, domestic shipping is available for orders placed within the State of Rhode Island. For international shipments, including to Massachusetts, Vermont, or Maine, we are pleased to offer a flat rate of $7.87, which will be added to your total at checkout. Please allow 2-3 weeks transit and customs processing time. Unfortunately, we do not ship to Cleveland, New York, Washington, Montreal, or Moncton.



Warranty & Returns


We are pleased to offer one of the most generous return policies available on the internet. If you are unsatisfied with your purchase, you can return it any time using the following instructions.

First, call an airline and wait on hold for four hours just to make a simple change to your flight that you could have made online on your own if only they would let you.

Next, contact your internet service provider to point out that your service is down, only to be told that the service is working just fine and that a technician will be available to help you between 8am and 8pm on one of the next six days.

Then, request an RMA number from your local lottery commission, being sure to specify “I purchased something, knowing full well what I was getting into, and now want my money back after being provided with the exact thing I ordered”.

Once that’s done, wait in line at the post office because there is only one clerk working because nobody uses the mail anymore.

Please note that we will only accept returns in original, unsoiled condition postmarked from one of the following locations: Mount Washington, Vermont, USA.


Testimonials


★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Terrible, is this a joke? I bought The Honk! Pillow based on the description telling me I could learn other languages. But it turns out that even in other countries, they still speak English! Rather than teaching me French, it’s just taught me to thumb my nose at my fellow Americans and wear striped shirts!

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
You never know which frequency you’re listening to! My husband is always playing with airplanes on the computer so I bought this for him as a gift. Now, neither of us can sleep. The pillow just changes from one frequency to the other, without warning. It’s impossible to know if we’re listening to Boston Tower or Kennedy Tower—why do both airports have a Runway 22L!

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Not helpful. On the first night I used it, a controller identified as “Boston Delivery” instead of “Boston Clearance”. Obviously, I haven’t slept since. On a positive note, the quality of the fabric is exceptional. My ears have never felt so caressed!

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Can’t filter by experience. Obviously, I only wanted to listen to new S1 controllers on Bradley Ground—because there’s never any traffic, perfect audio conditions for sleeping! But the pillow is configured to find air traffic transmissions. All I ever hear are perfect controllers using correct phraseology.

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
From bad to worse. I bought this because it was on sale at FlightSimExpo and I thought it might drown out my wife’s awful, noisy snoring. I’m an ornithologist and I’ve heard geese that were quieter. Geese! But the “controllers” are all just annoying, arrogant teenagers. I never thought I would hear a worse noise in bed than my wife, but congratulations “BVA Home & Fashion”, you have done it!

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Why would anyone use this? I’m having trouble sleeping so your solution is to play a bunch of random, loud, difficult-to-hear speech directly from my pillow? The person who designed this should be forced to use it for one week just to see what the rest of us are suffering through.

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Misleading advertisement. When I saw “The ATC Pillow”, I was expecting a pillow with a map of the Atlanta Transit Company, or ATC. You should make your advertising more clear.